Considering that I am announcing it, it's probably not true, but I find it difficult to motivate myself doing it. I am just getting angry at higher ups rather than doing my work because their behavior makes me angry, and their whole "neo madness" scare makes it hard as a newer animator as I have to restrain from certain things I like so that some dude doesn't lose shit because I'm doing "neo madness." So what if I like shipping and fluffy grunts? I understand people just being into the things to the point where they lose track of what madness is, but I shouldn't be shat on for doing either of those things.
Cute things? Burn in hell! Headcanons? Burn in hell! Unconventional character design? Burn in hell! Being a poor animator because you are a beginner? Burn in hell! (this is criticism btw, so I can just tell you to burn in hell) Being autistic or LGBT? Burn in hell! Doing anything outside of the the Status Quo? Burn in hell! Doing anything inside the Status Quo? Burn in hell!
And the list goes on and on. I lose track of what I am because I am a both dumb cutesy shit fan and a violence enjoyer, but I am pushed on way or the other all the time because I'm trying to fit in the Status Quo and fighting it. This whole thing is stressing me out to the point where I'm just yelling at animators because they shit people who partially built the hell scape rather than have a good time animating and being myself. I know madness will always be like this no matter how many animators I rant about, because it has been like this before but with the stupid green pepper idiot. This why I will "stop" (I barely started) Madness Animations because I am not animating due to the stress of peers and the steep learning curve. I just wanted to show off cool ocs and stories using animation, but that dream is dead. I'm going to just post transformation shit on deviantart and making my fursuit, this shit is too frustrating and I am not making progress due to stressing about what people will think of me.
